Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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