How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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