i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
