i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
