brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
