even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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