I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
