I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
