so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
