You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Randomize
