My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
