your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
