gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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