He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
