oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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