i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
