My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Randomize
