Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
