so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
