I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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