**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
