I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
