did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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