I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
