and you said cock pushups were impossible
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
