Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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