That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
