mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
