dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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