Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm at about main and main street
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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