he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
