You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
