isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
