who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
