i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
