just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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