so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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