I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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