i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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