Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
