At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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