That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
