We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
