oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
