She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
