Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
