I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Randomize
