What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
