News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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