obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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